How to Leave a Great First Impression: A First Date Checklist

This blog post is based on Faith 2 Influence’s Rules of Engagement.

Sometimes a first date feels like a coin toss. Either it goes really well… Or it goes really badly. 

Why? Who knows?

Since the fall in Genesis, men have tried cracking the hidden system of dating. We’re dying to answer the question: “How do men make great first impressions?” Some guys buy better clothes. Some guys plan extravagant evenings with limos and caviar. Some guys rehearse their high school football championship play-by-plays (please don’t do this).

For all the superficial things men try on first dates, it really comes down to is this: a great first date begins with you and the way you show up. 

Women want to spend time with a guy who is loving, authentic, and interesting. Thankfully, there are helpful guidelines that help men like you show up well on first dates. 

At Faith2Influence, we call these Rules of Engagement. 

Ok, so you’re about to head out on a first date. Before you do, take two minutes to review these three Rules of Engagement. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out between you and her (we hope it does), you’ll still show up in such a way that she says, “Wow! That guy was really special.”

1.    Lead with love

First impressions count, and your date will be able to tell how you’re approaching your time together. She will pick up on your intentions. Don’t pretend you’re slipping under the radar.

Take a moment to get clear on where you’re coming from emotionally. Are you leading with defensiveness because your heart has been broken in past relationships? Are you leading with bravado because you’ve prioritized ego over everything else? Be careful about acting out of a place of woundedness.

Instead, start off on the right foot by leading with love.

Remember that leading with love is the number one mark of Jesus. For every relationship, he asked, “How can I best love this person?” If the word “love” seems generic (or too heavy for a first date), you can meditate on these related concepts: acceptance, compassion, kindness, and understanding.

So, what is your intention going on this date? Is it to serve your own interests? Or is it to love the woman sitting across from you, the person you’re treating to farm-to-table carnitas tacos?

At the end of the night, you want whoever you’re with to say, “I am certain that this man is full of love.”

2.    Be curious first and critical second

Without this rule, our CEO, Justin, would have never met his wife. When he first moved to Colorado, he did what most newly arrived, single guys do. He jumped on dating apps. It wasn’t long before he came across a girl he thought was beautiful, smart, and adventurous. 

Except she was 5’ 10”…

“I can’t date someone who’s my same height!” Justin thought. 

But God calmed him down and whispered, “Just give it a shot.” The rest, of course, is history.

The natural human response to change and difference is criticism. How quick we are to judge! 

But what if, when your date starts talking about the virtues of vegetarianism or her curling league (yes, the ice sport), you simply ask, “So tell me more about that?” Curiosity goes a long way!

3.    Be a learner

The woman you’re on a date with will quickly be able to tell if you’re a learner or not.

When we say “learner” we’re not suggesting you recite facts about Martin Scorsese movies or Bitcoin. We’re saying you need to adopt the heart posture of a learner. Learning requires humility. You have to admit you don’t know all the answers. You have to show interest in topics outside yourself. 

To become a learner, you must let down your masks, be authentic, and let your blind spots be exposed. Your date will appreciate your vulnerability. 

You will also create a safe space where she can be vulnerable. Nothing creates friendship and intimacy like shared vulnerability. This starts with you offering to learn about her and the world around you.

Apply these three rules of engagement and you’re going to make a fantastic first impression. Your date is going to run home and text her friends like, “I just met this guy who’s…

·      Kind

·      Attentive

·      Intelligent

Try out these Rules of Engagement and let us know how it goes!

And did you know… 

There are five more Rules of Engagement we haven’t even covered yet! To continue succeeding in relationships at home, work, and church, grab our free audio lesson: “Rules of Engagement.” Really, it’s free!